Happy 15th Birthday Sophie-girl!

My Dear Sophie,


Another birthday...I’m a mess with memories!

Watching you perform on Wednesday night reminded me of your 1st ballet class. You danced with such elegance! You were only 4 years old, but you moved with the poise and sophistication of an expert. Miss Christine told me with teary eyes that you had the heart of a dancer, you do.

Soph, this year you came up against some mean men. Discriminating and judgemental is not cool! Bible teacher and Mr. Math ... seriously I hate those guys. Those fellas got older, doesn’t mean they grew up, just means they aged. You stayed humble and respectful as you stood up for yourself. I was in awe of your courage, I know that was scary. Your strength and confidence were undeniable... when you finally tagged me in there wasn't much left for me to say. They spoke of you with respect and admiration. They’re still ignorant and lame, but your strength of character did not go unnoticed.You impressed them and you inspired me by the maturity and grace that you used in both of those instances. So often you are an example to me, I learn so much from you.

As for the 3rd stooge. My heart breaks for you. When someone hurts me I recoil. They are cut off and there's no coming back. A formerly soft place in my heart is turned hard. Sometimes I wish you would deal with those people the way that I do, but you don't. You don't run hot or cold. Your heart carefully considers the safeguards that you need to put in place to heal, but you don't barricade and turn to ice. The temperature of your heart is warm. That kind of vulnerability is a gift unique to only the most extraordinary of beings.

I don’t want to be a downer, but word on the street is that there could be some tough times up ahead. Supposedly this is the age when some mom’s and daughters have a major clashing of the wills. I have a feeling that all of the, “respectfully stand up for yourself” lectures that I’ve given you are going to backfire on me. I want so much to be a gracious and safe place for you to push boundaries, take risks and pursue the discovering of your identity on whatever adventurous path you chose, but I don’t know if I can. I want to protect you...keep you safe from the super sad. I still see you as my ballerina, you've grown up and are changing. I'm gonna have to grow and change to be the kind of momma that you'll need.

For now the best I can do is suggest a few things to remember:

1. I will always have your best interest in my heart.
2. I have lived and learned from that living...if I tell you that my spidey senses are tingling or that my gypsy notions are dead on regarding something dangerous or sinister...then heed my warning!!!!
I promise I won’t abuse this.
3. I will overreact at the things that don’t matter, but I will be unbelievably calm under fire.
4. There is nothing that you could ever do that would make my love for you go away! NOTHING!!!
5. I will forgive you every time.
6. I will make mistakes. Please forgive me to.

Sophie Kate, Your heart is fragile with strong love flowing in and out and all around it. I know the essence of you...you're authentically divine...i want you to remember that about you.

15 years old today Soph! Can you believe it!!! I bet you’re wishing we were mexican right about now...spending thousands on a quinceanera? Hang in there...I’m planning on being REALLY ridiculously rich by the time your Sweet 16 rolls around. Maybe even by your half birthday in May...could happen?

No matter what happens with our cash flow, don’t get discouraged! There will be struggles, but there will also be lots of serendipitous moments when you just seem to collide with love and joy and happy...all the goods!

Happy Birthday to you Sophie! make a big wish baby girl! i made a wish and you came true.
I love~love~love you!
love,
mommy